CornCobs in Your Ears and Other Ways to Cope with Cancer

I was recently asked to write something about cancer, so here it is: One thing I know about cancer is that you as the patient must cultivate a sense of humor. The disease is so serious, the doctors and staff, all so serious with that forced cheeriness, something or someone has to crack and that is You! Joke to yourself. Not everyone will see the humor in cancer, but I guarantee after going down that path myself, you will be entertaining your self and that is all that matters.

Suggestions to find humor in the Cancer Process:
Breast Cancer patients who went for breast conservation, (That is what it is called):
Count the number of times you show your breasts to people. It will be in double to triple digits easily. Tell your people at your whim.

Bald Head: Buy an outrageous henna tattoo and apply it to the top of your head. Take that wig or hat or scarf off and enjoy the aftershock.

The Wig: Whip it off and stuff it into your purse, shopping bag or coat pocket. Do this while driving in traffic, or stopped at a light, on the bus or subway or walking down a busy street. Smile as you imagine or see people’s reactions. (Extra if you have the henna tattoo on your head).

Eyebrows: Use a brown pencil on one brow and a black, or blue, or green on the other. Draw in very thick eyebrow lines, or make artistic designs on the ends. These eyebrow dramatics look great behind sunglasses. Look in the mirror at yourself and get a good laugh.

Chemo Brain: This is real and affects people differently. I had a first letter correct, wrong word, chemo brain problem. Example, I planted pansies, but said I planted petunias. I said I put leftovers in the mirror when I meant to say microwave. The bottom line is that with Chemo Brain as your excuse, you are never wrong, confused, or forgetful. Others may be annoyed, but you are amused.

Radiation Tattoo: Of course this is not your image of your first tattoo or any tattoo you imagined. In your head or on paper, design a glamorous or outrageous tattoo that incorporates the radiation dots. You can choose to tell people your idea for extra giggles.

When people say unhelpful, but they think helpful things over the phone: Tell them your treatments are giving you stuffed ears so you can not hear well. If they persist, tell them it is like you have corn cobs jetting out of your ears and just holding the phones hurts your ears. Trust me; they won’t be able to get past that picture of you in their mind.

The bottom line is Cancer is not funny. It is a very serious disease. We can survive with what works best for us. For some it is spiritual, religious, physical, or connecting. For me it is humor, what works for you?